Qualified, Capable, and Completely Overlooked

Last week's Identity Alignment webinar confirmed something I see constantly in my work: the gap between being ready for leadership and being recognized as ready for leadership has almost nothing to do with competence.

Last week's Identity Alignment webinar confirmed something I see constantly in my work: the gap between being ready for leadership and being recognized as ready for leadership has almost nothing to do with competence.

The people in that room? Brilliant. Capable. Operating well beyond their titles. And yet the conversation kept coming back to the same painful reality: they're doing leadership-level work but not getting leadership-level recognition.

They talked about wanting to pivot but being overlooked for the opportunities. About becoming the leader they know they are, but feeling invisible when it matters. About knowing they're qualified,more than qualified,but watching people with half their track record get promoted instead.

This week's insight:

What came up across sessions this week:

Multiple clients,at different levels, different industries,all naming the same pattern: they're finally ready to let go of the behaviors that got them here but are keeping them invisible.

The over-explaining when their judgment gets questioned. The deflecting credit instead of owning their impact. The waiting for permission to make decisions they're absolutely qualified to make. The performing competence instead of claiming leadership.

They've been doing it because it felt safe. But now they're realizing that the thing that kept them "professional" is the same thing keeping them from being seen as the leader they've already become.

The shift? They're choosing visibility over comfort. And that's where recognition starts.

What came up across sessions this week:

Multiple clients,at different levels, different industries,all naming the same pattern: they're finally ready to let go of the behaviors that got them here but are keeping them invisible.

The over-explaining when their judgment gets questioned. The deflecting credit instead of owning their impact. The waiting for permission to make decisions they're absolutely qualified to make. The performing competence instead of claiming leadership.

They've been doing it because it felt safe. But now they're realizing that the thing that kept them "professional" is the same thing keeping them from being seen as the leader they've already become.

The shift? They're choosing visibility over comfort. And that's where recognition starts.

This week: Alignment

When you're qualified but unrecognized, the temptation is to add more credentials, work harder, prove yourself louder. But here's the truth: the gap isn't about what you're doing. It's about who you're being while you do it.

Alignment is about closing the distance between the leader you already are and the way you're currently showing up. It's about operating from leadership identity, not just leadership capability.

Are you framing your contributions as "helping" or leading? Are you waiting for permission or creating clarity? Are you deflecting visibility or owning your impact?

Recognition doesn't come from doing more. It comes from embodying the role before you have it.

Try this:

This week, notice every time you minimize your contribution, defer to someone else's judgment when you have the answer, or wait for validation before making a decision.

Just notice. Don't judge yourself for it. But start seeing the pattern.

Because the first step to being recognized as a leader is recognizing yourself as one.

When you close the gap between who you are and how you lead:

Where are you still performing competence instead of claiming leadership?

I've been sitting with something this week that's felt uncomfortable to name: I've spent most of my life building goals and strategy from an intellectual standpoint,analyzing, planning, optimizing,when what actually creates fulfillment requires me to get more in touch with my emotions.

The work I do with clients around alignment, grounding, clarity? I can teach it because I know it. But embodying it consistently in my own life means letting my heart lead more than my head. And that's terrifying in a way that strategy never is.

I'm learning that the same patterns I help clients interrupt are the ones I have to keep choosing to release in myself. Not once. But over and over, every time the temptation to intellectualize my way out of feeling something shows up.

If you're realizing that the next level of your leadership requires emotional depth, not just strategic capacity,I see you. And I'm right there with you.

If you left last week's webinar realizing that the gap between your readiness and others' recognition of it is costing you opportunities, momentum, and credibility, you're not alone.

The next Identity Alignment webinar is coming in February. This is where we get honest about what keeps qualified people invisible and what actually shifts perception. If you want to be part of that conversation, reply to this email and I'll add you to the list.

Or,if you're done being overlooked and ready to close the gap between who you are and how you're showing up, The Inner Advantage walks you through the Identity G.A.P.™ Framework with the tools, practices, and accountability to make the shift stick. Learn more here.

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Every issue brings psychology-backed frameworks, honest reflections, and practical tools for high achievers who want clarity, not just productivity.

Shakirah Forde, LCSW
Licensed Therapist | Executive Coach | Alignment Strategist
13+ years supporting leaders through burnout, identity shifts, and aligned decision-making

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